Clive Wild

I have been meaning to write a piece about coping skills. I have built up a repertoire of skills. The truth is that I am not coping very well at the moment. I have suffered at various times from mood swings, depression, anxiety and hypomania. At the moment I suffer from what I classify as agitated anxiety.  I was so focussed on the anxiety that I failed to realize I was suffering from a kind of hypomania.  

Imagine your mind is going a hundred miles an hour ...

My book ended on a positive note. I still feel quite positive but I now realise that I was more hopeful than confident. The truth is that I am still struggling. I need to make a plan for the future and make things happen. They don't seem to happen by themselves.

I have to get a life, whatever that means. I have joked about it online but there is a serious aspect to it. My life was always intrinsically linked to my work. As long as I pursued my career in IT, I had friends an...

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. Just been thinking about mood swings and how they are not based in reality. Here are my thoughts.

Unfortunately, I don?t seem to inspire myself. I give the impression of being ?together? and quite motivated. Nothing could be further from the truth. Maybe it is my Bipolar Disorder but I can get false moods, both positive and negative. Moods based on mood swings can be very fragile, in my experience. I am very good at over thinking and kill...

I have done a lot of work on my family tree over the last few years. I have got back to the early 1800's for many legs of my family. I have built up a lot of tools and some extra knowledge as I have gone along. I am happy to help anyone with their UK family history. I can get you started on building up a tree. All I would need are details of relatives who were alive in 1911 or better those alive in 1901. Full names and birth dates or birth years and birthplaces where you know them. The more y...

Tell me the writer of these lyrics is not bipolar. They ring so true to me whenever I hear them.

All day staring at the ceiling

Making friends with shadows on my wall

All night hearing voices telling me

That I should get some sleep

Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on

Feeling like I'm heading for a breakdown

And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

I know, right now you can't ...

If you find this list annoying, you may be Bipolar.

If you are a homicidal maniac, you may be Bipolar.

If you found it hard to sleep last night, you may be Bipolar.

If someone really made you angry today, you may be Bipolar.

If you are breathing, you may be Bipolar.

If you are left-handed, you may be Bipolar.

If you act a bit odd sometimes, you may be Bipolar.

I...

I don?t want to dwell on my past. It fascinates me why I became bipolar and I am curious when the seeds were planted. I read something about Bipolar Disorder having ?significant neurobiological and genetic components? and ?a basis in psychological, social, and biological roots?. This was posted in a blog that talked about the 9 Myths of Bipolar Disorder. Please excuse my small amount of paraphrasing. The Myth in question was that Bipolar Disorder is a medical disease...

I always knew that my book didn't match up to the books in bookstores that are sold by the inch of thickness. As an infrequent reader, the huge tomes scare the hell out of me. They might look good on a coffee table but there is no way I could read one. Bipolar always made it hard for me to concentrate on my reading.

Two of my best friends called my book a pamphlet when they first saw it. I hope they were joking. They both bought one and at least one of them enjoyed it. Some...

Firstly, an apology. In an earlier blog post, I suggested that I was getting no responses to my personal attempts to approach the media. This week I received two nice emails from Rethink, the UK mental health charity. They apologised for the late response to my email. Their timing fitted in well with the official book launch. I sent a copy of the book as requested.

The first day of the book launch generated a further 6 requests for book copies. Les...

I worry a lot about friendships that have gone by the wayside. I always made online friends easier than real world friends. Then again, cyberspace might be called my "real" world. The manic episodes that I suffered were few but they damaged friendships each time. I sometimes tried to apologise and explain myself but it was futile. I have made a number of friendships over the years and none of them are in good shape. It is a form of personal stigma. No one wants to deal with a "mad" person.