Clive Wild

I have been meaning to write a piece about coping skills. I have built up a repertoire of skills. The truth is that I am not coping very well at the moment. I have suffered at various times from mood swings, depression, anxiety and hypomania. At the moment I suffer from what I classify as agitated anxiety.  I was so focussed on the anxiety that I failed to realize I was suffering from a kind of hypomania.  

Imagine your mind is going a hundred miles an hour ...

My book ended on a positive note. I still feel quite positive but I now realise that I was more hopeful than confident. The truth is that I am still struggling. I need to make a plan for the future and make things happen. They don't seem to happen by themselves.

I have to get a life, whatever that means. I have joked about it online but there is a serious aspect to it. My life was always intrinsically linked to my work. As long as I pursued my career in IT, I had friends an...

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. Just been thinking about mood swings and how they are not based in reality. Here are my thoughts.

Unfortunately, I don?t seem to inspire myself. I give the impression of being ?together? and quite motivated. Nothing could be further from the truth. Maybe it is my Bipolar Disorder but I can get false moods, both positive and negative. Moods based on mood swings can be very fragile, in my experience. I am very good at over thinking and kill...

Tell me the writer of these lyrics is not bipolar. They ring so true to me whenever I hear them.

All day staring at the ceiling

Making friends with shadows on my wall

All night hearing voices telling me

That I should get some sleep

Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on

Feeling like I'm heading for a breakdown

And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

I know, right now you can't ...

I don?t want to dwell on my past. It fascinates me why I became bipolar and I am curious when the seeds were planted. I read something about Bipolar Disorder having ?significant neurobiological and genetic components? and ?a basis in psychological, social, and biological roots?. This was posted in a blog that talked about the 9 Myths of Bipolar Disorder. Please excuse my small amount of paraphrasing. The Myth in question was that Bipolar Disorder is a medical disease...

Firstly, an apology. In an earlier blog post, I suggested that I was getting no responses to my personal attempts to approach the media. This week I received two nice emails from Rethink, the UK mental health charity. They apologised for the late response to my email. Their timing fitted in well with the official book launch. I sent a copy of the book as requested.

The first day of the book launch generated a further 6 requests for book copies. Les...

I worry a lot about friendships that have gone by the wayside. I always made online friends easier than real world friends. Then again, cyberspace might be called my "real" world. The manic episodes that I suffered were few but they damaged friendships each time. I sometimes tried to apologise and explain myself but it was futile. I have made a number of friendships over the years and none of them are in good shape. It is a form of personal stigma. No one wants to deal with a "mad" person.